You can only blame yourself.

All these happenings depend on what I've done, what decision I have made. I don't know why and what happen to me, but I just don't feel like attaching on any group of people. I walk alone before the class and after the class today.

Right after one class, there was another class at Pocket C. I was on my way together with my coursemates but i was walking few meters from them. Such a coincidence, I actually saw him and his coursemates at Block 17 level 1 who had just finished their test 2. But I pretended, pretending that I didn't notice them. I just don't feel like looking at them awkwardly, especially him.

I think this kind of feeling will only end after graduation where we already have our own new path to proceed to another stage of life. Nothing I can do now but just to avoid him and let it go slowly and to forget as time passed by. Of course precious moment will still stay in my mind.

I'm scared and don't dare to accept anyone or to believe a person who will love me that much. Only family some best friends who I really cherish in my life and really care about me. Thanks for always staying beside me.

Stay strong and be a Happy Kid. It's time for me to do revision on Fluid Mechanics.

Back to this space

After 2 years and a half, I'm back to this space, covered with such thick dust, to share my thoughts. Throughout this period, many things happened. Ups and downs. Come together and leave. Couple and single. When I think back, I just.. laugh at myself because all these are ridiculous. A person who was once so close to you, but our hearts are so far away from each other. During shower, I did a lot of thinking. Think what I have done, what I have said, what I need to do and so on. 

People come and go in my life, some I decided to let them go, and some. I forced them to go (I'm bad). Until today, I just realize each of them come with a mission. After their mission complete, they just leave, leave me a lesson of life. 

One of the lesson that I practice now is eating alone is not a big deal. Last time I was used to have my meal with him and I seldom eat with other friends which caused my friend circle is just that "big". So, I was afraid to eat alone. Because when you are coupled and you are eating alone, people will ask you "where is he?", which I don't like to listen about it. And now, I have learnt from my life passenger, Gordon who told me eating alone is not a matter. When you are working outside, you stay at a foreign place alone, you need to be independent. It's time to eat, then you should go and have your meal. So now being single, I found myself that I have really grown up instead of depending on him. 

I have learnt from HIM to be strong, independent, mature in doing things after his leaving. And I really did it, trying hard to do it. It's so awkward to see him, meet him in the campus. I would rather than not to meet him in my daily life. Although we are still friends, the link that connects us is like.. there is a knot there. Nowadays, I don't know how and what should I react when I see him. I might just talk like what I talk to those my male coursemates. But still..hmm.. Whatever. I believe that time will dilute the pain, the feel and the care. 

I never think of I could write this long. Hope I will feel better after posting this. 

Be A Happy Kid.